i'm over thinking
so over it fr. imagine being an intellectual lol. that’s the one thing you’re good at? thinking???? lmfao. loser.
every time i have a thought a whole world falls asleep. i hereby delegate 😵💫processing😵💫 to dreams. i’m trusting the process and he's trusting me.
antonio gramsci has very convoluted sentence structure but he starts his prison notebooks saying everyone is an intellectual. he dismisses ideologies, theologies, and philosophies as masturbatory and insists that all valuable intellectual content is technical.
what is technique?
i studied for four years in the Indian Institute of Technology and i still need to write a substack to figure it out. anyway.
i think i have terrible technique. what i do have, maybe, is grace. but that also makes me an extremely undercover learner. i don't like tripping. or anything that ruins my hair for that matter. every research becomes an investigation. all intentions are slipped under the table. disguised in jokes, asides, puns, and coincidences. an orchestra of desire.
but that feels like some sort of fake distinction between my inside and my outside. between what is said and what is done. between being and doing. like my body is a pebble skipped over the still lake of my thoughts.
isaac brock floated his way out of his head. i think i’ll skate. my grandmother says ghosts get in through the cracks of your heels, so i fix wheels under mine so the ghosts can never quite keep up.
but if you skate with me and you meet some of these ghosts, scrambling for a crack, tell them of light, of wheels, and of time. tell them what they're waiting for is waiting for them too.
what you're waiting for is waiting for you too
but my thoughts were so loud i couldn’t hear