if you believe nobody loves you,

those will always be your final words, your last doubts, rushing to be clarified, as you come closer. the worst will always come up in the end. it's like procrastination, actually. your avoidance waits for something it can't even bear to name.

i'm going missing the second i give in. baby, i'm pulled before you even lift a finger. and i've never known why. i've known how to love since before i believed in it. the last two are literally the same sentence. think about it. ugh.

the stupidest things about life and love are hidden in folds like that. the stupidest things fuck everything up.

why does it take to know why to believe in something? it's that mother fucking hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy quote, "isn't it enough to know that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies living at the bottom of it?" isn't it enough to know how? the step from wondering why to wondering how is called beginning.

right now is as good a time as ever. what the hell are you waiting for? stumble till you find your step. it's only freefall till grace sets in, then it's flying. as long as you miss the ground, as douglas adams informs, once again.

and brave heart, land carefully, don't twist your ankles.