god is a cuck!
not that there is any shame in being a cuck. it's quite wholesome really, if you think about it, to find joy in your partner’s pleasure. if someone i’m seeing was into that sort of thing, i’d frankly be excited if i was invited to watch. honoured, even.
but GOD🙄 is a different matter. god never gets up from her goddamn chair! no matter if we are in pain, no matter what she could contribute, she simply sits & stares. god is a cuck & a bad one at that! a passive one! you see, even the act of watching is ideally an active one. watching changes you! it moves you! but god is forever the same. her gaze is lazy, like she's almost bored. but still, she insists she sit still on the chair. still, she doesn't just go & find something better to do. she just sits & stares & stares.
i mean, it's not like i don't get it. i have also done it. what do the kids call it these days? dissociating? ya, that. on many a rainy days, i have found myself floating above my body, watching my daily motions roll along from the corner of my ceiling without once offering a lending hand. hell, sometimes i think the real me only exists in my dreams. that waking life is a video game i play from inside my dreams! what rubbish! shameless lies!!
bro, i just completed a diploma in photography- the ultimate cuck job.
but there's this tendency to believe that detachment somehow makes you a more impartial judge. that imagining a distance between observer & observed can somehow achieve the ‘correct’ perspective. but isn't the act of observation more like a factor to be accounted for than an error to be corrected for?
the most crucial differences between god & aadi are in how they respond to mirrors. god’s form dissolved years ago but is still deludedly surprised when compelled to relate to their reflection. aadi is mostly just dysphoric & wishes she didn't suck in her stomach as much. where god is fatally annoyed by language & sees how the meanings of words multiply after utterence, aadi has reconciled with growing older by allowing meaning to seep in and out of her allies & her enemies. aadi allows herself to be embarrassing, ugly & selfish. in a lot of ways, aadi creates the world & god is just living in it. she lets the end of a cigarette light her way home while god rationalises the slow death. if words are never the truth but somehow, all she's got, then aadi understands the meaning of life & god struggles to find beauty in emptiness. god is her escape latch & aadi is god’s fiery soldier, reckless & ruining her life with stubborn shadows of linearity & tumult. aadi trusts her rage & god reigns her in. eventually, if anyone saves the world it'll be aadi, and if anyone saves aadi, it'll be god.
honestly, i just wanna see which one gets a job first.
what the fuck did i just read this is so funny lmfao loved it
Ok 😛I’m new on Substack. I produce music and write. I also have practiced Buddhism for many years. Posting, Fun, Deep, Interesting, Optimistic. Not interested in “paid subscribers” i have plenty of wealth.