being yourself

as with most phrases like this, it's more useful to understand when and where they are usually used than than decode some inherent meaning in the words them-selves. what even is a self? vrinda wanted us to dress up as a coconut tree and the context for halloween.

so. context- “be yourself” is usually advice. an advice is usually given to help someone. but be yourself also sounds a bit like asking them to help themselves. ‘just’ be yourself. but how does one set out on this just task? where do i begin? in the awkward ticks? the endearing quirks? the behavioral regulations? my million thoughts, over and under? my political party affiliations? my exact socio-cultural history? the heartbreaks? the people that love me?

is being yourself a relaxed or strained affair?must it always look effortless? or is not where you put your effort a measure of your self? is being yourself easy or difficult? is it inevitable?

when am i not being myself? when i apologise for something i’m not sorry about? when i lie about having seen a movie? when i’m in any unfamiliar situation? maybe yes, but these are all still strategies my self has designed to navigate these moments, trying to meet my self’s needs. in a way, i wish i was better than my self in these moments.

okay, so we've dug ourselves into this hole pretty well. what on earth could people mean when they say ‘be yourself’? the universal trick to understanding, i’ve found, is to make the assumption of love. if i see ‘be yourself’ as an aid meant with love, it becomes clear what it means.

myself is however this person sees me. what they're saying is from how they know me, they think i’m going to be fine. they're offering the person i get to be in their company, in the space they hold for me, as something i can keep while i go off to my daily exploits. they are offering their faith in me, that i’ll do my best. and for a moment, in their image, i believe it.

because i feel more like myself around you.